Disgusting, Disgusting Banana Bread

Bananas have a proper time and place. Maybe half of one before a workout, a bit of one in a smoothie, fried plantains, whatever. Bananas Foster? Pretty much always. But when I’m not expecting banana taste and I taste it? Like when I’d bring my packed lunch to school and my banana had, unbeknownst to me, been laying next to my sandwich all day? Gross. Terrible. Blargh. Now I have a baloney sandwich with banana-infused bread.

So. Imagine my dismay when I dragged myself out of bed one precious weekend morning, pulled myself up to the toaster, popped in some bread, spread delicious salted butter across two almost-burned pieces of toast, and tasted … bananas.

What did I see when I peered into the recesses of the fridge? A bunch of very dark brown, mushy, reeking bananas. Five of them, to be exact. Something had to be done.

I thought about exacting revenge on them by composting them immediately, but then I thought better: banana bread. It seemed to be a fitting punishment—they ruined my toast, so I’ll turn them into bread.

Intentional Banana Bread
Only very slightly adapted from Smitten Kitchen’s Jacked-Up Banana Bread

I took a tip from Molly’s dive into the world of coconut and cream cheese sheathed banana bread and blended the bananas instead of smashing them. I liked it—no hidden chunks of bananas lurking here. I threw cut up pieces of peeled banana into the cup that came with my immersion blender and was ready to go in no time.

Enjoy this on a cloudy afternoon when Daylight Savings Time ends and you find you have an extra hour on your hands.

Ingredients:

5 medium very brown and fragrant (some might say reeking) bananas, pureed
1/3 c. melted salted butter
3/4 c. light brown sugar
1 t. vanilla
1 T. bourbon
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. nutmeg
Pinch of ground cloves
1 t. baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 c. flour

Procedure:

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Butter a loaf pan.

Whisk the melted butter into the pureed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Stir in the sugar, egg, vanilla, and bourbon and then the spices. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and whisk some more.

Add the flour, switch to a spatula or a wooden spoon, and stir until just combined.

Pour mixture into the prepped loaf pan. Bake for 50 minutes to one hour, or until a tester comes out clean.

Cool on a rack for 10 minutes. Remove from pan and slice to serve.

Perfect Macaroni and Cheese

So I’ve been thinking about this mac and cheese for three days now.

It was worth it.

I meant to serve it with some broccoli to score some points for vitamins and minerals, but…oh well. Martha suggests making the cheese sauce first and then starting the pasta, but I figured that the sauce would cool too much and become grainy, so I switched around some of the steps. My trick for knowing when the bechamel is ready to come off the heat: coat a spoon with the sauce, turn it over, and swipe your finger across the back. If the line remains for a second or two, it’s ready.

Enjoy this on a night when you can no longer deny that the days are getting shorter and fall is here.

Barely adapted from Martha Stewart’s Perfect Macaroni and Cheese
Serves 6 very, very hungry folks, or 12 with more petite appetites

Ingredients:

6 T. butter, plus more for dish
5 1/2 c. milk
1/2 c. all-purpose flour
2 t. kosher salt
1/8 t. nutmeg
1/4 t. ground black pepper
1/4 t. cayenne pepper
4 1/2 c. (about 18 ounces) grated sharp white cheddar
1 1/4 cups (about 5 ounces) grated pecorino Romano
1 pound elbow macaroni

Procedure:

1. Preheat the oven to 375. Butter a 3-quart casserole dish; set aside.

2. Fill a large pot with water and season it liberally with salt. Bring to a boil. (While you’re waiting for the water to boil and later when the pasta is cooking and cooling, get your mise en place set up and grate your cheeses.) Add macaroni and cook 2 to 3 fewer minutes than manufacturer’s directions. Transfer the macaroni to a colander and drain well.

3. Rinse out the pasta pot reuse it for making your cheese sauce. Melt the butter in it over medium heat. When butter bubbles, add flour. Cook, stirring, for 1 minute. We’re making a roux!

4. Pour milk into the roux while whisking. Continue cooking, whisking constantly, until the mixture bubbles and becomes thick, about 8-10 minutes. 

5. Remove the pot from the heat. Stir in salt, nutmeg, black pepper, cayenne pepper, 3 cups cheddar, and 1 cup pecorino Romano.

6. Stir macaroni into the cheese sauce.

7. Pour the mac and cheese into your prepared casserole dish. Sprinkle remaining 1 1/2 cups cheddar and 1/4 cup pecorino Romano. Bake until browned on top, about 35 minutes. Transfer dish to a wire rack to cool for 5 minutes; serve.